Back in June 15th, 2024, I was bored one day and decided to finally watch Inside Out 2. I got cozy in my hammock, loaded up MyFlixerz, and gave it a watch. So what was my verdict? ... Meh. 4/10. If you ask me, it was basically the first movie, but with more emotions. In the first movie, we meet the emotions, Riley hits a road block in her life, then Joy and Sadness get lost in her brain while the other emotions fuck around in HQ. What about in the second movie? Well, we meet some more emotions, Riley faces another road block, and now Joy and the other emotions get lost and have to get back to HQ while the new emotions fuck around in HQ. I don't care if there's some slightly different events, it's literally the same movie, but with different dialogue and new characters.

Hey, y'know, that's almost like Finding Dory, isn't it? Same premise, but with different dialogue and different characters! But I digress. I kinda liked what they were trying to do with Anxiety. I appreciate how instead of just making her this looming monster, she's just this unstable, skrunkly creature who doesn't know what the Hell she's doing, but at the same time, I also hate it. She's kinda meant to be the antagonist of the movie, but she never feels threatening or even that engaging. Don't get me wrong, I kinda like her and I love her weird design, but she doesn't even come close to characters like Hopper, Randall, Syndrome, or any of Pixar's other antagonists. I know, not all villains have to twirl their mustache and go, "Nyehehehe~" But I can only tolerate neutered villains for so long, man.

How would I have done her justice though? Remember how Sadness would turn past memories into sad ones just by touching them? Well what if Anxiety did something like that? Maybe instead, Anxiety would start off as this little, creepy creature slinking around Long-Term Memory. She snatches memories off the shelves and starts corrupting them, making them embarrassing and cringe before sending them to HQ so Riley can recall them and be like, "Ugh, man, that was pretty cringe of me." With each memory Anxiety would fuck up, she'd get bigger, uglier, and more powerful until she turns into this monster. She even kills some of the dudes working in Long-Term Memory! Then I guess Joy and the gang head to Long-Term Memory to see what the Hell's going on.

I imagine the little workers must've constructed a system that lets the emotions travel to LTM when it's absolutely necessary, just so they wouldn't have to deal with another string of incidents from the first movie. Seriously, if the emotions are so important, then make sure they can never get separated from HQ so they don't have to go through the same bullshit from the first movie! Or at the very least, if they really need to visit LTM for important reasons, give them an elevator or something that helps them travel from place to place! Or better yet, maybe put some bridges or barriers over the pit so nobody falls in and gets forgotten? Or, what, is that not in the brain budget or something? "But FriedDoughMaster, the movies are meant to be metaphorical, they don't have to make complete sen-"

SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!! Sorry about the tangent there, I just really needed to get that out. Like, c'mon, is it really that fucking hard to make things safer and more practical? I guess since Riley's still young, her mindscape is still a work in progress. I mean, it's not like we see much of what goes on in the adults' minds. Sure we see their emotions, but we don't know what their Long-Term Memories look like. Plus, considering HQ is still getting upgrades every now and then, maybe they just haven't gotten around to putting boundaries around the Forget-Me-Pit, but still, that's always really bothered me. Anyways, back to Anxiety Joy and the gang hear about a mysterious monster wreaking havoc in Long-Term Memory, so they head down to see what's going on.

The Mind Workers explain they've lost some coworkers to the beast and it's been stealing and fucking with memories, so they lend Joy a map so they can track down the monster and get rid of it. Then they'd go on an adventure and chase Anxiety around, then they'd have some "epic" battle that somehow shrinks Anxiety down to her base form. Then they lock her up in a jar so she can't do anymore harm and all's well that ends well. "But if they're going on this adventure to track down Anxiety, then who's looking after Riley, FriedDoughMaster? It's not like she'll stay asleep forever." True, but I never said I was gonna rewrite the whole movie. I'm just spitballing ideas here. If you've got better suggestions for a compelling plot, feel free to spamfuck my comments with 'em.

Anyways, to recap: Riley's just chilling until a monster named Anxiety starts creeping at the back of her mind and wreaking havoc, so the emotions embark on a quest to deal with it and get everything back to normal. Simple as that. "But FDM, what about Ennui, Envy, Embarrassment, and Nostalgia?" So it's come to this. Personally I thought some of the new emotions were lame as Hell, and I probably would've preferred to cut 'em out entirely. Ennui was boring, Embarrassment was meh, Nostalgia was fucking sandbagged, and of course Anxiety was disappointing. The same goes for Envy, IMO. If I were to change Envy, I would've preferred if they made her into a creepy, little Gremlin with crazy eyes and sharp teeth who'd go into Goblin mode when she sees something to be envious about.

She'd be like a tiny version of Gollum. I'd still cut her out though. She wouldn't serve much of a purpose anyways. As for Embarrassment, I probably would've just turned him into a big chameleon. Y'know, so he could turn invisible when he gets embarrassed, I guess. Ennui though? I have no idea what to do with her, she's just... Fuck Ennui. Oh yeah, what about Nostalgia? ... Well she didn't really do anything, so screw her. I also thought Anxiety and Embarrassment were kinda pointless. I mean, doesn't Fear already do what they do? I think he already did something similar to Anxiety in the first movie. Remember the time he tried predicting all the worst possible outcomes that could occur on her first day of school? He even tried accounting for embarrassing moments, if I recall correctly.

So yeah, Anxiety and Embarrassment were completely pointless. I'm still holding onto that "Anxiety being an antagonistic monster" idea though. I'd also cu Ennui too 'cause she's just... Just fucking throw her in the garbage, I don't wanna see her. Nostalgia too, screw Nostalgia. Anyways, back to Fear: I won't beat around the bush with this one. I really hate his new voice actor, Tony Hale. I'm sure the guy tried his best, but he just made Fear sound so insufferably whiny! I know voice actors don't always wanna come back for a sequel, especially if it's long after the first movie came out, but nobody can replace Bill Hader, dude! There's also this one bit of the movie that kinda bugged me. Riley sneaks into her new school to look at this secret file containing her new coach's opinions on her.

The coach basically has these records on her players determining if they're good enough to be on her team or not. Anxiety figured that if they can find out what they have to correct, then they'd knock the coach's socks off. Anyways, they head to the school and they manage to sneak in no problem. Yeah, I guess the school just doesn't lock their doors at all? I've been to plenty of schools, and they were always super uptight about safety, almost to an annoying and impractical degree. It didn't matter if they were just leaving a classroom during the middle of the day, they would always lock their doors if they were left unattended. But this school? Pffft, who cares if someone breaks in? Leave the doors unlocked for anybody to come in, especially if it's some girl insecure about her hockey skills!

I know this is a really dumb nitpick, but that's just bullshit! What moron leaves a high school unlocked in the middle of the night?! I guess a janitor was there and maybe they were on the night shift, so they left it unlocked, but why? Wouldn't leaving it locked be better? They wouldn't have to worry about some squatter coming in and murdering them or something. I guess if it was a janitor, that would explain the random, faceless individual slinking by the coach's office with a flashlight for no reason. It was probably a security guard or something, but who even cares anymore? I sure do, apparently way too much. Another thing about the movie that bugged me was Riley's new friends. I'm pretty sure she had one long distance friend from the first movie, but what the Hell happened to her?

She is never mentioned once throughout the whole movie. She's never referenced or anything. I guess they just stopped being friends at one point, but why? Whatever, who cares? I guess the writers didn't watch the first movie? Whatever, I'm done talking about the second movie. Right now I wanna discuss the first movie. Recap: When Riley was getting on the bus to move back to her home town, the control panel turns grey and the emotions can't do shit. Meanwhile Sadness and Joy are still tryna get back to HQ. Now, with that in mind, lemme ask you this: What if Joy and Sadness never got back? What if Joy rotted away in the pit with Bing Bong while Sadness just kept bitching and moaning on her little rain cloud for the rest of her life?

Here's what I think would've happened. Think of it like an alternate ending, or perhaps a new beginning to a much darker Inside Out. Alright, enough cavorting around the shrub, let's get into it: Fear, Disgust, and Anger are struggling to use the control panel when suddenly, they see a new emotion appear. His name is Gloom. He's a pretty tall and egg-shaped fellow with skin as grey as concrete, his eyes wandering. "Hey," is all he says in a deadpan voice. He slowly hobbles up to the control panel like a robot and shoves Anger, Disgust, and Fear away. He cracks his knuckles and goes to town on the control panel, flipping switches, pressing buttons, all kinds of stuff. Suddenly, the panel's all better, but now Gloom's in control, and Riley's still feeling just as shitty as before.

Anger tries to shove the intruder away, but to no avail. Disgust and Fear attempt to do the same, but it's like confronting a brick wall. Gloom isn't even phased by their presence and carries on. While the others are struggling to get Gloom away from the panel, another newbie suddenly appears. It's Irritation. She appears to be a little mass of scribbles wearing heels and a skirt. They pay her no mind. She sneers. "Hey, mind explaining what-" But she's interrupted by a chorus of struggling grunts and gasps as the gang struggle to get Gloom away from the controls. Irritation's scribbles start to intensify. She repeats herself, more forceful this time. "HEY, MORONS, DO YA MIND TE-" But they just ignore her. Finally, Irritation's already had enough of these scrubs.

She suddenly transforms into a hideous mass of scribbles and eyes! A few black and red tentacles grab Disgust, Anger, and Fear, tossing them aside like cheap candy wrappers before slithering over to Gloom. Irritation slowly reverts to their tiny self and she hops up on the panel. "Hey, can I have a go?" Gloom ignores her. "ALRIGHT, FINE!!" She sprouts another scribbly tentacle, picks him up, and tosses him aside. Gloom doesn't bother getting up. "Ow." Then another newbie appears, a sickly girl with snatchy fingers and turquoise eyes. She sees Irritation at the control panel. Her eyes stare longingly at the panel. She immediately grabs the little, scribbly monster and shouts, "MOVE ASIDE, I WANT A GO!!" She throws Irritation aside and starts fiddling with all the buttons and switches.

Then another emotion appears right next to her. It's Shame, a tall lady with hair that flows and cascades down her face like a waterfall. "BACK OFF, PUNK, IT'S MINE," Greed hisses, "ALL MINE!!" Shame doesn't say a word, she just stands there and mopes. "I KNEW IT!! YOU COVET MY... Um... W-WHATEVER THIS THING IS!!" "Uh-" "I'LL KILL YOU!!" Greed pounces on Shame and starts yanking on her hair and beating the snot out of her! While Shame is screaming and struggling to get the little Goblin off of her, another newbie appears and starts watching with relish. His name is Sadism, a yellow fellow with a spiky, leather jacket and a Mohawk so sharp it'd poke your eyes out. "YEAH, YEAH!! KNOCK HER TEETH OUT," he shouts, "I WANNA SEE SOME BLOOD!!"

Meanwhile, Anger, Fear, and Disgust are just tied up in the corner and helplessly struggling. That's the Inside Out 2 I wanna see. Now you're probably wondering who these new emotions are and what exactly they're doing here. I thought it'd be interesting if the original emotions were sorta replaced with worse ones. I feel like Sadism would be a perfect opposite of Joy because he would make Riley find joy in the suffering of others, as well as finding enjoyment in inflicting pain. I guess it's a spin on the scrapped Schadenfreude emotion. I gave him Skepticism's design though 'cause it just seems more fitting. It's like he's a little street gang member or something. Irritation is an interesting one. I like to visualize her turning into a scribbly monster when she's over the edge.

Because of her, Riley becomes a loose cannon who irrationally hurts anyone who even slightly pisses her off. Shame would probably be a more toxic version of Sadness. She doesn't just make Riley sad. She's also a source of self-hatred. She would probably change memories like Sadness does, but she makes Riley regret them immensely. She could make Riley wanna jump off a bridge over the time she accidentally stepped on a bug. Next there's Greed. It's a bit of a no-brainer what her whole deal is, but I like to think she's a much more aggressive and desperate form of greed. When she's at the wheel, Riley becomes a desperate mugger threatening to stab passing citizens unless they hand over their cash. Maybe a little kleptomania could be thrown in there for good measure.

Finally, there's Gloom, whom I would like to call the "ringleader," for lack of a better term. I'd say Gloom is an anti-emotion. He's the absence of feeling, a guy who's meant to turn Riley into a dead shell of her old self. CEOs would love this guy. I also think it'd be a neat bit of irony if an emotion incapable of feeling or creating feeling would be bossing around a bunch of really toxic ones, y'know? WELP, that's all I have to say about Inside Out. Thanks for coming to my ramble.