About a day ago, my aunt was leaving for work when one of her cats, Patrick, pestered her for some attention, as cats do. Feeling sorry for the little guy, my aunt thought it'd be a good idea to let ol' Patterbuns outside for some fresh air. After all, it'd been ages since he had a stroll around the block, so she opened up the door and let him amble out to the pool deck. Next thing she knew, he was gone. Ever since, we've been looking all over the property for him. If you're curious, lemme tell you about Patrick.

Simply put, he's a fifteen-year old orange tabby with a buffed tail and cataracts. He's a sweet, little dude, but due to his age, he's heavily dependent on my aunt. I don't know about you, but I'd say my aunt was a bit of an idiot for letting him out in the first place. Why? Because where I live, the weather is still super cold and miserable, and last time I checked, Patrick hasn't been outside in years! He's probably completely forgotten the terrain of the neighborhood, so how could he know the way home?!

The blindness certainly doesn't help, so even if my aunt got his attention with some food and some calling, he wouldn't know which way to go. Plus it's not like he was gonna come running, his bones were made of glass! When I went out to look for him, my aunt told me to listen to his meows, but he didn't meow ONCE! Even if he did, I could barely hear him due to all the background noise! Cars, dogs barking, the wind, people shouting in the distance, it was all too distracting! We looked everywhere.

Under the porch, under the pool deck, the shed, the woods, the front and back yard, the garage, under the camper, under the trailer, I even asked the neighbors if they had seen a tailless cat anywhere. No dice. Worst of all, if I remember correctly, Patrick never had a collar, so even if someone found him, they'd probably never know if he belonged to my aunt. At the very least, I'm hoping they'd probably adopt him or take him to a shelter. Whatever the case, I just hope he's okay. I'll update y'all if anything comes up.

If he doesn't turn up in a week, then... Y'know. If any of you live on Pleasant Avenue, Johnstown NY and you see an orange cat with a nub tail and cataracts, for the love of God, call me at 518-844-1206 and let me know.